The reality of lesbian parenting has nothing to do with "playing house."

By Diane Silver

Loving a child isn't playing.

Cleaning him up when he's been sick in the middle of the night, sitting with him when he's terrified, holding him when he's in despair, disciplining him when he's making mistakes, guiding him when he needs a push in the right direction, paying for his bills, celebrating his joys and going to his baseball games, football games and band concerts... none of these things has anything to do with "playing house."

Most people understand this. I certainly know this as a lesbian and a parent.

Unfortunately, Stephen Bennett, a spokesperson for Concerned Women of America, thinks that who loves a child is more important than how well they love and how well they parent.

In his tirade against Mary Cheney and Heather Poe and the simple fact that they are parents, Bennnett misses the point that anyone who has ever raised a child should know: It's not who you are, but what you do that makes a difference in a child's life.

Children are too important for anything else to be true. Children are too important to be turned into political props. Children are too important and good, sane parents who can help children grow up strong and well loved are too rare for any qualified, willing parents to be turned away.

I find myself, once again, in the odd position of praising Dick and Lynne Cheney. While I do not agree with any of the vice president's politics, I cannot do anything but praise him for understanding that all of his grandchildren deserve to be accepted and loved. I would have been delighted to see Mary and Heather in the photo with the vice president and his wife, but the fact that the photo and its cutline are on the White House site says a lot about the truth of families.

How fitting that all of this brouhaha should occur just in time for the 2nd Annual Blogging for LGBT Families, which is being organized by Mombian.

I offer this humble post as part of that project. Below are links to some of my other posts about my lesbian-headed household.

Winning the lesbian parent marathon
On my son turning 18 and the issues of custody in a homophobic world.

Living with a target on your back
On the terror of living in a conservative state where ministers and politicians actively work to undermine your family.

Committing family
On how extended families learn that love is what makes a family, not sexual orientation.

Why I support the domestic partner registry
On a recent local controversy and how anti-gay laws hurt children and families.

Watching the zoo surrounding Mary Cheney's pregnancy & (gulp) praising the vice president

By Diane Silver

Hell must have frozen over because I'm going to do something I never thought possible: I'm going to praise Vice President Dick Cheney.

In fact, I come to sing the praises of both Dick and Lynne Cheney who have publicly reacted to the news of their daughter Mary's pregnancy exactly as proud grandparents should. The issue, of course, is that Mary is that most horrible of beast, an "out lesbian."

As the Los Angeles Times reported:

The vice president and his wife issued a statement saying they are "looking forward with eager anticipation to the arrival of their sixth grandchild."

It seems bizarre to make such a big deal about grandparents being proud of the impending birth of a grandchild, but such is the reality of life for families headed by same-sex couples. No matter how committed we are to each other, how good we are as parents, we are always attacked. Yes, it IS news when the very conservative vice president does nothing more than say he is proud that a baby will be born to his out-lesbian daughter.

Meanwhile, the media and blogosphere zoo has been clamoring for attention. The Post's Media Notes has a good rundown of the coverage and the blogging.

Best of all, though, Washington Post writer Ruth Marcus has a wonderful column in Friday's paper focusing on real family values and what she very accurately calls the "benign reality of gay families today." Marcus writes:

To be a badly wanted child (one thing that's indisputable about the children of same-sex couples: the parents had to work to make it happen) in a home with two loving parents is no tragedy. If they're worried about "emotional devastation," the (disapproving writers) Crouses and Knights of the world would do better to reserve their lamentations for children in poverty, those who are abused or neglected, or for children in families splintered by divorce.

Well said! Congratulations to Mary and her partner Heather Poe, who have been married in every way except in the eyes of the law for 15 years.

The vice president's lesbian daughter is pregnant

By Diane Silver

This should be interesting for the Religious Right. I can't wait to hear the debate about this: Mary Cheney is pregnant.

The Washington Post reports:

She and her partner of 15 years, Heather Poe, are "ecstatic" about the baby, due in late spring, said a source close to the couple.

John at AMERICAblog has some discussion and links about new Virginia laws, which will make life particularly difficult for Mary, Heather and their new baby. The family (and yes, they are a family) lives in Virginia.

Best wishes to Mary and Heather.