Thursday, May 31, 2007

The reality of lesbian parenting has nothing to do with "playing house."

By Diane Silver

Loving a child isn't playing.

Cleaning him up when he's been sick in the middle of the night, sitting with him when he's terrified, holding him when he's in despair, disciplining him when he's making mistakes, guiding him when he needs a push in the right direction, paying for his bills, celebrating his joys and going to his baseball games, football games and band concerts... none of these things has anything to do with "playing house."

Most people understand this. I certainly know this as a lesbian and a parent.

Unfortunately, Stephen Bennett, a spokesperson for Concerned Women of America, thinks that who loves a child is more important than how well they love and how well they parent.

In his tirade against Mary Cheney and Heather Poe and the simple fact that they are parents, Bennnett misses the point that anyone who has ever raised a child should know: It's not who you are, but what you do that makes a difference in a child's life.

Children are too important for anything else to be true. Children are too important to be turned into political props. Children are too important and good, sane parents who can help children grow up strong and well loved are too rare for any qualified, willing parents to be turned away.

I find myself, once again, in the odd position of praising Dick and Lynne Cheney. While I do not agree with any of the vice president's politics, I cannot do anything but praise him for understanding that all of his grandchildren deserve to be accepted and loved. I would have been delighted to see Mary and Heather in the photo with the vice president and his wife, but the fact that the photo and its cutline are on the White House site says a lot about the truth of families.

How fitting that all of this brouhaha should occur just in time for the 2nd Annual Blogging for LGBT Families, which is being organized by Mombian.

I offer this humble post as part of that project. Below are links to some of my other posts about my lesbian-headed household.

Winning the lesbian parent marathon
On my son turning 18 and the issues of custody in a homophobic world.

Living with a target on your back
On the terror of living in a conservative state where ministers and politicians actively work to undermine your family.

Committing family
On how extended families learn that love is what makes a family, not sexual orientation.

Why I support the domestic partner registry
On a recent local controversy and how anti-gay laws hurt children and families.


Holly said...

I love the post and am very happy that I found your blog through Mombian!

Diane Silver said...

Aw shucks, thanks for the nice words!

Diane Silver said...

Cute baby, Holly.