Proposition 8 & sadness

I’m interrupting your regularly scheduled goodness programming to contemplate an issue of politics and civil rights, and to take note of the federal court ruling overturning Proposition 8. To my thinking, this decision is a very good thing, but I don’t want to focus today on the issue of goodness so much as the issue of politics and mood.

When I see people celebrating around the country, I feel sad, not for them, but for me. I wish I had their innocence. I wish I could feel their joy. Read More.

What comes next in the search for goodness

Sometimes the only workable path is to go straight through — a solution the Pacific found in drilling this archway through an island. One of the paths I haven’t tried yet in my quest for goodness is to drill through my own life. My trip to California helped me realize it’s time to do that. Read more.

Redwoods. Silence. Goodness.

Hushed. The three-note call of a single bird. Hushed again. Even our footsteps were swallowed by the immensity of the place. My son and I entered the Armstrong Redwoods Reserve chattering and then found ourselves whispering. Finally, we fell silent. Read more.

First Thoughts: Prop 8 may stand

[updated with links]
The Los Angeles Times has read the tea leaves from today's oral arguments before the California Supreme Court. The reporters' conclusion is that the justices appear ready to uphold the ban on same-sex marriage, at the same time that they may also allow the 18,000 couples who married before Prop 8 passed to stay married.

After all of today's breathless live blogging and Twittering on the hearing, however, no one will know anything for certain until the court issues its ruling. That may take up to 90 days.

Stay tuned.
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Andrew Sullivan provided a list of links to a range of blogger thoughts on the day's events.

Love will prevail

"Fidelity": Don't Divorce... from Courage Campaign on Vimeo.

What to Watch in 2009

My new Political IQ column is out.

After a gut-wrenching 2008, should we expect more of the same this year? Not necessarily, but we do need to pay close attention to the political landscape. Here are three milestones to watch this year. Read more.

Some unsolicited advice for California's Equality Summit organizers

Reading about the internal struggle over organizing an Equality Summit in California is giving me flashbacks. Hold on a moment while I do some deep breathing. It's a tad like being slapped when you're not expecting it.

Before I stuck my journalist hat firmly back on my head, I worked in gay politics, serving on campaigns and helping to birth two LGBT rights organizations. That experience shook my faith in just about everything, but particularly in the idea that LGBT Americans could ever get along well enough to make political progress.

At first, I thought the infighting was because we were all volunteers. No one was getting paid, so we were a bit cranky, at least that was my theory. I next decided that perhaps the Religious Right was correct, and that we were all crazy, mean, nasty and just plain stupid.

But then I began to look at other groups. I peered closely at some of the dysfunctional non-gay organizations I had worked for. Filled with paid and highly trained professionals, they were in desperate need of group therapy. One of the biggest eye openers came when I hung around executives who gave me the inside scoop on their own decidedly mainstream and non-gay organizations. And to top it off, we all got to see the meltdown and very public infighting of John McCain's campaign last year, not to mention the sniping within the Hillary Clinton campaign.

And so, I am writing to provide some totally unsolicited advice on our current troubles.

First, a word to those of us watching from the outside: Giving feedback to the folks in the inner circle in California is good, but attacking their integrity and intelligence is a truly lousy idea. No one wants to lose. No one wants to hurt LGBT America. There are no evil doers here. There are, however, good ideas, bad ideas and disagreements over strategy and tactics.

For the folks currently tussling with each other over the Equality Summit: Take a deep breath. Take a walk in the woods or on the beach. Take two or three walks. Have a good scream or beat up an unsuspecting tree or pillow if you're really furious.

From a more practical point of view, consider bringing in an organization expert for advice and guidance, but most of all remember that what you're doing is inherently difficult. It's made nearly impossible by the fact that you're working with other human beings. (We are such an unruly and emotionally touchy species.) It's also made nearly impossible by the fact that we've been losing a lot lately. (See McCain campaign for reference.) A smooth and non-emotional effort is also complicated by the fact that you are literally fighting for the security of your children and your friends and neighbors. The issues are so emotional and so personal that screaming meltdowns are to be expected.

May you survive it all better than I did.

Yet more Proposition 8 postmortems, or, who really is the bad guy (gay)?

The newest postmortems on the No On Prop 8 campaign declare that it wasn't the bad guys who done us in, it was us! If only different queers had run the campaigns, all would have been perfect.

Rolling Stone writes:

According to veteran political observers, the No on Prop 8 effort was slow to raise money, ran weak and confusing ads, and failed to put together a grass-roots operation to get out the vote. "This was political malpractice," says a Democratic consultant who operates at the highest level of California politics.

One of the replies on Rolling Stone's comments page is supposedly from No on 8 leader, Kate Kendall:

When (writer Tim) Dickinson called to interview me about the No on Prop 8 campaign it became obvious he wasn't interested in the facts about the campaign, he wanted only information that supported this hit piece. When he didn't like my answers, he just asked more leading questions. We lost. Yes, as in any campaign, mistakes were made, but to quote from unnamed sources and anonymous gay leaders running for cover in the wake of this devastating loss while ignoring all facts that don't support your assasination attempt against those who worked tirelessly for months is not jouralism, it's just trash. Dickinson should ply his "blaming the victim" tactics with the National Enquirer.

Towleroad IDs this person as Kendall.

My take on the Rolling Stone story: I think it is thinly sourced with too many anonymous quotes. On the other hand, it probably does get to the heart of the problems of the No On Prop 8 campaign. On the third hand, I believe it's far fetched to declare that if not for our own mistakes Prop 8 would have been a bed of roses for same-sex marriages.

This was a tough fight. It IS a tough fight. Despite the early poll showing Prop 8 to be way behind, I never thought we were a slam dunk to win. Honestly, I think it's a bit naive to think that any pro-gay position in any state is ever a slam dunk. What that means is that we do have to be politically smarter and much more organized than our opposition. That's why I think these postmortems are important, as long as we don't end up demonizing our own leaders.

Other interesting reports, include the very capable Karen Oncamb's special INmagazine investigation and The Petrlis Files close look at how No On Prop 8 spent its money.

Sheldon Rampton also gets up close and personal with Mormon homophobia.

As always, Towleroad provides the best roundup of Prop 8 coverage. (I am borrowing links from him shamelessly.)

Continuing Election Postmortems: What the No On Prop 8 leaders say

Towleroad has posted an audio recording of a recent 90-minute panel discussion by leaders of the No on Prop 8 campaign. This is required listening for anyone who wants to understand why the campaign did what it did.

The on-going post mortems

[updated with new links]

As the aftermath of the LGBT community's election defeats continues, some interesting post mortem examinations defeats have begun to appear. Here are a few.

The Advocate has weighed in with the "Anatomy of a Failed Campaign."

Queerty isn't pleased.

Latrice Johnson of the group United Lesbians of African Heritage gave a fascinating and slightly disturbing interview to Two Down, 48 to Go.

Lorri Jean, one of the leaders of No on Prop 8, has posted a detailed FAQ on the campaign that everyone should read.

365.com writes about "Prop 8: What Went Wrong."

Leaders of the campaigns in California, Arizona and Florida liveblog at The Bilerico Project.

A Dose of Reality: Mormons get a lesson about politics

I've been working up a response to the absurd statement from leaders of the Mormon Church, complaining about the marriage equality protests that are sweeping the nation. In a truly Orwellian move, Mormon leaders claimed they have been victimized by the fallout from Proposition 8. What a joke!

While I was struggling with my post, Kevin Drum, bless him, came up with a post saying exactly what I wanted to say. The emphasis is mine.

I'm afraid the church elders have it exactly backward here. Churches have every right to involve themselves in political issues, but if they do then they're going to be treated as political actors. Protests, boycotts, op-eds, blog posts, and marches are exactly the democratic ideals of our nation, and being on the receiving end of them is what happens to anyone who enters the political fray. It's a little late for them to pretend they didn't know this.

People should not be persecuted for their religious beliefs, and I condemn any gay-rights supporter who does that. But I refuse to let people take my rights away and then claim that I can't fight back. Give me a break!

In case you're wondering why anyone would be miffed at the LDS, take a look at this weekend's New York Times: Mormons Tipped Scale in Ban on Gay Marriage.

Wanda Sykes comes out & speaks truth

Some folks are calling the events of the last two weeks the Awakening. In my latest Political IQ column, which will be out soon, I dub this the Great Gay Awakening, just to be a tad fancier. No matter what you call recent events, though, things are happening so fast that it is hard to keep up.

My goal over the next week or so is to post various interesting bits of news that come my way about the Great Gay Awakening. Instead of attempting to cover everything, I'll be picking out the events and speeches that stand out for one reason or another.

Here's comedian Wanda Sykes addressing the crowd Saturday in LA. She comes out and gets mad.



Hat tip to Americablog.

California speaks on the topic of animals vs. gays

... And the voters "words" aren't pretty. Tom Toles shows what the passage of Proposition 8 really means. See the full cartoon here.

More after Prop 8 musings

Virginia Postrel argues that we can't win on same-sex marriage if we hide the queers in the closet. I couldn't agree more. In fact, the most ironic thing about Proposition 8 and the entire battle over marriage is that the religious right may now have proven that the only way we can win is to do what they fear: Change the country's mind about queers. Given that we will continue to face voter initiatives designed to smear us and take away our rights, the only way we can protect our families may well be to win the hearts and minds of straight America.

Hat tip to Andrew Sullivan.

How LGBT Americans can best handle their post-election blues

Longtime politico David Mixner weighs in on the LGBT community's stunning loss on Proposition 8, and comes up with a list of questions we need to answer

Now is the time for patience and knowledge. We need facts to find out how to do our job better next time. And those answers require patiently going over the election returns astutely and avoiding quick, 'feel good' proclamations that might lead us into the wrong direction in the future. For example, when the returns are totally completed, we should put together a group of real political experts to see just exactly what happened. Did we have the right ads? Did we attempt to make others love us at the cost of good hard hitting ads? Did we start the right ads soon enough? Did we make the best use of our grassroots network? Did we involve enough people outside our community soon enough? Where we too insular? How did our national leadership and organizations respond and could they have been used better?

I like Mixner's list, and I second his call to stop the blame game and to keep hope. This needs to be a time for evaluation and review for the LGBT movement, not scapegoating.

Painfully bittersweet

Last night I cheered Barack Obama's historic victory and toasted him with champagne. This morning I'm overwhelmed by pain.

Voters in Arizona and Florida banned marriage equality. Voters in Arkansas denied lesbians, gays and single heterosexuals the right to foster children and adopt. And most horrific of all, it looks like voters in California are taking the right to marry away from lesbian and gay couples.

To put this into perspective...

* If the Arkansas ban had been the law in Kansas when my life partner died of cancer, I would never have been able to adopt the son I had raised. Because she was his biological parent and I was invisible under the law, he would have lost both parents because of the death of one.

* Nearly 20,000 same-sex couples in California no longer know whether their marriages are legal. And the children of all same-sex couples throughout this nation woke up this morning to once again learn that their families are reviled.

One More Thing: My family & today's election

This morning three generations of my lily white family, ranging in age from 22 to 81, voted for a black man for president. And we did it in Kansas, even though we knew that Barack Obama doesn't have a chance in holy heck of taking our state's electoral votes. We did it because it was the right thing to do. We did it because we think Obama is the right person for the job.

It wasn't until after I cast my vote that I realized how emotional I feel about finally having the opportunity to vote for an African American for president. It makes me want to cry to see this country live up to its promise. I can only pray that the people of California, Florida, Arizona and Arkansas will continue to support that promise by turning their backs on discrimination.

Want to be a hero? You have the power to stop Prop 8

Midnight tonight is the deadline to You can still donate to the No on 8 campaign in California. Make a gift NOW. Also, call, visit, volunteer, argue, urge and get out the NO vote!

Meanwhile, Towleroad has a great roundup on all the latest happenings in the campaign.

Proposition 8: How can an attack on your family NOT be personal?

I've always been stunned by how anti-equality forces like to argue that their attacks on marriage aren't personal. I've seen this happen in state after state, and I've come to believe that they will continue to win until we can convince voters of the truth -- that marriage bans hurt people. Bans hurt families and children. Nowhere is that more clear than in California where Proposition 8 would eliminate a right that already exists.

A gay man in California makes the case vividly to a Yes on Prop 8 volunteer he encountered in a supermarket parking lot. He blogged about the encounter.

“Don’t take it personally?! Don’t take it PERSONALLY?!” I nearly yelled back, “This amendment you are pushing will strip the rights and protections of MY family, how can I not take that personally!?”

Hat tip to Marriage Equality News.

"A Holy God" won't tolerate marriage equality

In another good review of the marriage battle in California, Karen Ocamb provides this perspective from the far right.

"Thirty-five years of an American abortion holocaust, the civil imposition of homosexual 'marriage' upon America and the indoctrination of America's public school children in pro-homosexual ideology are practices that a Holy God will not tolerate," FRC's National Prayer Director Rev. Pierre Bynum said in an e-mail.

Ocamb reports that the Mormon Church has contributed more than $9 million to Proposition 8.